Zen and the Art of Tricycle Maintenance, or The Philosophical Musings of a Five Year Old

Last weekend, the kids and I went to Seattle and as I'm attempting to parallel park, (quite expertly, I might add...) Carter asks me earnestly, "Mommy, is this our destiny?"

Ummm...how do you answer that? So I ask him, "What do you mean by destiny?" (way to stall, Mommy...)

He sighs, clearly exasperated by my ignorance.

"You know. Your destiny. That's where the flag is."

My head is spinning. The flag? Think, think think...

And then, I hear it. Almost like it was spoken by God himself. As I'm finishing my final maneuver, squeezing my mid-sized SUV between a huge truck and a teeny tiny scooter (did I mention how expertly I did this yet?) My GPS rings out Ding! You have arrived at your destination. The signature checkered flag shows on the screen to let me know I made it to where I was going without getting lost.

"Honey, do you mean destination?"

"That's what I said. Destiny."

"Then yes, this is our destiny."

I can be so slow sometimes...

I'm baaaack

I have been absent from the world of bloggery for far too long. For this I apologize. But I'm back now, so you no longer have to spend sleepless nights, up wondering what mindless drivel I have to share with the world. :)

So much has happened since last we chatted...I'll try to give you the Cliff's Notes version:

The Family and I vacationed in the Happiest Place on Earth. It was truly an amazing trip and, although the weather was sickeningly hot and sticky, a good time was had by all. As evidenced here:




B losing her mind


Upon returning, Carter had his 5th birthday, and shortly thereafter, started Kindergarten *gasp*. The big yellow bus just showed up one day and took my baby away...He absolutely loves his teacher and has made some really good friends, so I'm happy for him. It's just impossible to believe that he (or I) can be that old already.



All Aboard

I started subbing shortly after school started and got bit by the teaching bug all over again. My school district had a bunch of positions that opened up after the school year started and I had the amazing fortune to land myself a job in an incredible school.

And thus, you can see why I've been neglecting my my bloggerly duties as of late. Hopefully I will find some time here and there to grace you all with my presence (ha) and keep you posted on the goings on of a supermom who is just trying to keep up.

Something Icky

This morning I woke up at 6:45 to Carter hitting me on the knee. "Mommy, Mommy, Mommy!" He said. Startled, I sat up and asked what's wrong. "One of the cats did something icky on the floor."

That's it? Here I was thinking Bella had seriously hurt herself or something. I told him I'd take care of it later, I just needed to sleep a little longer.

About a half hour later, I finally woke up and went to get the kids. I stumbled sleepily into their room and then...*SQUISH* stepped squarely into a pile of what can only be described as disgusting cold cat ralph.

I looked over at Carter who was laying in his bed, propped up on one elbow with a slight smile on his face.

"I told you so, Mommy."

Touche, sir. That you did.

Goolay Goo

...or is it spelled Goulez Gous? I'm not sure. Either way, it is the new term du jour at our house. Bella was standing in front of the refrigerator, pointing frantically saying "I want goolay goo!" Totally perplexed, I let her say it about 20 more times, thinking I would eventually figure out what in the world she wanted. I couldn't. So, I moved on to the next step: guessing. I started pointing to things.

Do you want milk?
No
Do you want cheese?
No
carrots?
NOOO!

I was getting nowhere, fast. Finally, I figured out that "goo" must refer to some type of juice. (If you're at all familiar with Bella-speak, you'll understand that this is not much of a leap)

Do you want apple juice??? (I'm getting frantic now because she's getting more and more agitated by the second)
NO, MOMMY, NOOOOO!!!!
Finally, I spotted it: there in the door, a container of ORANGE juice.

Is this what you want???
Yeah! Yay goolay goo!!!

I poured her a cup of goolay goo. She took a long sip, wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and said "Ahhhhhhhhh....I LOVE goolay goo!" (a moment highly reminiscent of my last post)

So that's our new word here. We use it all the time now. I find myself looking for excuses to work it into everyday conversation. You should try it. It's the coolest new word since 'fetch'. (I know, I know. Stop trying to make 'fetch' happen.)

I'm thinking this one might just catch on though.

The Sweet Tooth Conquers All

We have been trying to get Bella to say I love you for a long time now. It always comes out "I....you!" Lately, we've evolved a little bit. I tell her "I love you, Bella." She replies "I you too Mommy." Getting closer...

And then the other day we introduced something completely new to her: jelly beans. She popped one in her mouth, her eyes got really big and she looked at me and said "I LOVE jelly beans!"

Really?!

You can't say I love you, but you can say I love jelly beans.

I see how it is.

Fountain of Knowledge

A few days ago, Carter and I were sitting on the couch, watching the science channel (a favorite pass time at our house lately). He turned to me and asked, "are there things that you know that you haven't told me yet?" I though for a second, then told him "yes, there are probably things that I know that you don't, but you're still young and you've got lots of time." He considered this for a moment, settled back deeper into the couch and said, "ok, I'm ready. Tell me EVERYTHING you know - especially the stuff about science. Start with what you know about dinosaurs."

He laced his fingers behind his head, put his feet up on the couch and just waited. I told him the great thing about science is you get to discover your own knowledge and he gave me that look that says "nice try. Now start talking." Oh well. Kindergarten, here we come...

Surviving Two

I've sunk to a new low. I'll admit it.

In my attempts to teach Bella a little empathy and break her of this hitting streak, I have been tried many different things.

I have tried being stern, but she usually just parrots me and then breaks into a fit of giggles.

She's even tried to put me in time out a couple of times.

So, yeah. I was desperate. It has been getting to the point where I was hesitant to take the kids on play dates because she always ended up making the other kids cry. Finally I took my cue from her.

One day I was getting after her for one thing or another and she started doing this mock pouting thing. It was almost effective, even. I thought, ok, two can play at this game.

Later that day, I told her to put her toys away and she turned to me and screamed "no no, Mommy! Shoo" and then she gave me "the hand" and started swatting at me. I stuck out my bottom lip and pretended to cry. I knew it was a lame move, but somehow it worked. She came running over and threw her arms around my neck and said "it's ok, Mommy." This was progress. The word sorry is still not present in her vernacular, but the sentiment is there.

Later on, there was a similar situation and I pulled out the pouty face again. This time, she ran over and patted me comfortingly on the shoulder and said "Mommy, I'm two."

Is that an apology or an excuse? Not sure if that's a step forward or back...

Wish me luck. I'll need it.

Bruddah-ly Love

We have been pretty excited about Bella's ever-widening vocabulary as of late, but nothing has brought a smile to our faces more than her finally being able to address Carter as "Bruddah."

Yesterday, Carter crawled into bed with us around 6 and fell back asleep. At around 7, I woke up to the sound of Bella calling from their shared room:

B: Where Bruddah go? Where Bruddah go? (then cupping her hands around her mouth like a megaphone as I'm entering her room) Bruuuuuuuudaaaaaaaaah....

Me: Brother's in my room

B: I want Bruddah (picture her best pouty face, chin resting in her hands, arms propped up on the side of her crib)

I pick her up and carry her into my room where she proceeds to throw herself at Carter.

We were worried when we moved them into the same room that they would fight and get annoyed with each other quickly. But on the contrary, they seem even closer lately. There have been several times when I have been driving down the road and have looked in the rearview mirror to find them holding hands in the back seat. I have a sinking feeling it won't always be like this, but I plan on doing everything I can to document this lovey dovey phase to remind them when they're teenagers :)

Two-Year Old Logic

Tonight Bella was sitting in her high chair biting her fingernails. I told her to stop. She closed her eyes and continued to bite her nails. It took me a second to realize the logic in this: If I close my eyes, I can't see you. Therefore, You can't see me doing the thing you told me not to do.

Brilliant.

I think I should try that next time I get caught doing something I shouldn't be doing. Do you think it would get a person out of a speeding ticket? "I'm sorry officer, but I'm surprised you could even see me. I was speeding with my eyes closed..."

Maybe that only works when you're two. I don't think I'll test it.

Pay it Forward

I got this from my friend Katie's blog and thought it was a neat idea...

Pay it Forward...the first three people to leave a comment on this post will receive, at some point during the year, some homemade goodies from me. What it will be and when it will arrive is a total surprise! The catch is that you must participate as well. Before you leave your comment, write up a pay it forward post on your blog to keep the fun going. Then sit back and anticipate the arrival of your goodies! Please submit in an e-mail or on the comment, your address, if I don't have it already. Remember that only the first three comments will receive a gift from me, so be quick! Have fun!

My watery purple nightmare

Times are tough right now; that's no surprise to anyone. And if you're anything like me, you're trying to find new ways to save some money. Personally, I have been cutting corners all over the place. I make my coffee at home and take it with me most days. I buy generic brand products as much as possible. I've completely cut the term mani/pedi from my vocabulary. I even (*gasp*) have cut down on the wine consumption. Notice I said "cut down" and not "cut out." Times are tough, yes, but a girl's still gotta live.

There are some corners that, quite simply, should not be cut, however. Or at least not to the extent that I have cut them.

Case in point: I have been dealt an unfortunate genetic hand and am forced to color my hair about every 6 weeks or so, lest my prematurely gray hair begins to run rampant. This can be a huge drain on our cash flow, so I stopped having it done professionally and started doing it myself. Just like the good old days. And by "good old days," I mean "college." I realized how much money this was saving us and decided that I could afford to cut back even more. This time when I went to the grocery store, I bought the cheapest bottle I could possibly find. Let's just say, I don't think the whole thing cost me more than $3. And that's after tax.

There can't be that big of a difference, right?

After applying the foul-smelling stuff to my hair and waiting the obligatory amount of time, I decided to just wash it out in the shower. Kill two birds with one stone.

I had my eyes closed so that nothing would accidentally drip in my eyes. Then I opened them.

Purple everywhere. PURPLE. Not medium ash brown. Purple with a capital "P".

I panicked. I was trying frantically to wash the stuff off the walls of the shower, when all of the sudden, I felt a draft and heard the shower door open. I turned around just in time to see Bella climbing into my watery purple nightmare in her diaper and socks.

Perfect.

I'm scrambling to get her out without getting any of the toxic sledge on her. She was mostly spared. Her poor socks were not. A small price to pay, I suppose.

In the meantime, the inky purple water is dripping down my face and it's BURNING.

So, yes, the economy is a mess and we sometimes need to cut corners here and there. A word of caution: you get what you pay for.
And sometimes that can be a little more than you bargained for.

The perfect weekend

Sunday morning rolled around and Dave and I were off on a weekend adventure. We dropped the little ones off at the grandparents' house and headed off toward the coast for the Murnita wedding. I wish I had pictures to share because it was a beautiful and amazing wedding, but someone forgot the camera. And by "someone," I mean me.

Oops.

We drove down (and then up) to the Lake Quinault Lodge, where we checked in and went for a short hike in the rainforest. Later, we came back and got cleaned up for the wedding, which was held in the front lobby of the lodge itself, in front of the blazing fireplace. It really was absolutely amazing.

We probably had our first glass of wine at 5:00 just as the wedding was starting (it was very laid back and casual) and at 11:30 that night, realized we really hadn't stopped with the wine for 6 and a half hours. We figured that was a good stopping point :)

The next morning, after probably the best breakfast I've ever eaten (sweet potato pancakes with hazelnut butter, a full pot of coffee, lots of water, and a couple of tylenol...)we woke up and drove farther north up the coast, stopping at the ocean, where we scoped out a site for our next family vacation. We probably walked for a good hour or so up and down the beach, collecting shells, rocks and sand dollars to bring back to the kids.

Then it was onward north again to the town of Forks. (warning, nerd alert:) I had read the Twilight books last summer and although I had been to the town of Forks where they take place several times as a kid, I couldn't resist the temptation to go back and see the town from a new point of view. I remember telling my third grade teacher when I was on my way to visit some family friends in Forks (this was possibly my last visit until now) and she had told me that Forks was the type of town where if you blink, you'll miss it. That pretty accurately sums it up.

We stopped the car and visited a couple of Twilight themed gift shops, laughed at the carloads of giddy teenage girls that were pulling in behind us, had lunch at a greasy spoon type diner and were back on our way. I've been there. Now I feel absolutely no need to go back.

On the way back, we drove Hwy 101 the rest of the way through Pt. Angeles and on down the interior coast. During the drive, we ran into snow, fog, rain and finally intense sunshine turning into a beautiful sunset. We stopped to pick up the kids and were back home again.

It was an absolutely perfect weekend.

Holy Matrimony!

Tonight Carter was watching cartoons and on one of his favorite shows, the main character was getting ready to go to a wedding. I mentioned that Dave and I will be attending a wedding tomorrow (Go, team Murnita!) Here is a brief synopsis of the conversation that followed:

Carter: I wish I could get married
Me: You can someday.
C: Who do I get to marry?
M: Who do you want to marry?
C: I want to marry you!
M: Well, you can't marry me, I'm married to Daddy (this isn't the first time we've had this conversation)
C: I know, I know (hanging his head)
And then, as if a light bulb has gone off over his head
C: I know! I'll marry grandma!
M: Honey, you can ask grandma, but I just don't think it will work out.
C: This is HORRIBLE! Who in the world am I going to marry???
At this point in the conversation, he is literally starting to tear up.
M: Don't worry honey, someday you'll find someone just perfect for you. (am I really having this conversation with a 4 year old???)
C: Ok.
I'm thinking ok, time to move on to a new subject. He was starting to look seriously dashed. Finally, he comes over to me and pats me on the hand and says:
It's ok. I understand. I'll just marry Aunt Sarah instead.

Ok, I guess I'm just going to let this one go for now...

Addendum 1.0

Apparently, no sooner did I finish typing the List, I realized I needed to add an item.

Chicken nuggets - which apparently, by the way, make excellent projectiles when torn into pieces and inserted carefully into the nasal passage.

Just in case you were wondering.

The nose plays. Oh yes, the nose plays...

So, in the further adventures of Bella and her fascination with her nose - and the various objects she can shove in it... I have compiled a list of the objects that have now been removed* from her nose. Please understand that this is neither an exhaustive list, nor will it (sadly) be the end of the list, as I could probably add new list items daily. Stay tuned...

*By "removed" I mean either manually (my fingers, or hers) or by force (usually by way of being shot across the room like a rocket).

* beads (see earlier post)

* peas (frozen and cooked)

* carrots (both small pieces and whole)

* fingers (obviously)

* Cheerios (mostly soggy)

* a hair clip

* crayon (yes, a whole crayon sticking out of her nose. I kid you not)

Then of course there are the objects she attempted to shove up her nose, but was unsuccessful due to their sheer size and volume. Such objects include, but are not limited to:

* matchbox cars

* books

* countless others that I simply have not (yet) caught her with

Then there's her bizarre fascination with the aspirator, which has so lovingly been dubbed the "boogie sucker" at our house. Fair warning, she not only loves using the boogie sucker on her own nose if she can get her hands on it, she also likes trying to use it on the noses of others. Don't let it be said I didn't warn you...

At this very moment, she is attempting to shoot applesauce out of her nose. She thinks this is hilarious.
I'm still on the fence about the issue.
As I've stated, stay tuned.

Entertain Me. Please.

I have just about exhausted my supply of books and am in desperate need of something else to read. I just finished reading The Memory Keeper's Daughter which I LOVED. Anyone ready any good books lately? Any suggestions. Entertain me. Please. :)

Disco is alive and well

Carter has a new favorite movie. He has become 100% ADDICTED to Mamma Mia. We watched it one night at my brother-in-law's house, thinking the kids would go play like usual. To the contrary, they sat raptly listening to the music. There may even have been a little bit of dancing involved too.
Ok, lots of dancing.

The next day, Carter began singing the songs at breakfast. To make a long story short, we ended up watching it again that day. And the next.
On the fourth day, we rested, much to his dismay.
He begged.
He pleaded.
We won.
No Mamma Mia.
We did however listen to the soundtrack twice.

Day five. We ended up watching it again. Carter can now sing most of the songs on his own. I don't know if I should be amused or embarrassed.

I was, however entertained yesterday as I overheard him singing "Money, Money, Money" whilst playing with his train set. I realized that he had misunderstood the lyrics and was instead belting out "Mommy, Mommy, Mommy - in a rich man's world."
*sigh*

Don't get me wrong. I love, love, LOVE this movie! If you haven't seen it yet, DO. I am seriously kicking myself for not seeing the musical while I was in London right after it first opened. But four times in five days is excessive.

That didn't stop me from grabbing the soundtrack on my way out the door to a meeting this evening though.

Here's a clip from one of Carter's favorite parts in the movie. Enjoy!

When good crafts go bad

Carter got this craft set for Christmas and yesterday we decided to sit down and see what we could create. It was all fun and games until I hear Bella saying "uh-oh Mommy." I look up and she's pointing to her nose. "Owie." I had been so wrapped up in making a "Carter" car that I hadn't noticed when she had reached up and shoved (at least) one of the beads up her nose. She tried to blow it out, but then her nose started bleeding.

I'm trying not to panic, but Carter, who is much maligned by the sight of blood starts swooning "oh, my baby sister! My poor, poor baby sister! What is going to happen to my poor, sweet baby sister?!?" Meanwhile, Bella is watching me intently like she doesn't quite see what all the fuss is about. I grabbed a little LED penlight and was trying to see how far up the darn thing was. Bella was being sublimely calm, so I decided I could probably pry the thing out with a pair of tweezers. Success! I sat looking at the offending bead that had been liberated from Bella's nasal passage and was just about to feel relieved when another thought hit me: How do I know she only shoved one up there??? (This thought ocurred to me only because when Carter was little he had a similar incident with a little ball of tissue he had made. Upon removing it, I realized there were six or seven more up there...)

So, it was off to the doctor's we went. Being a Sunday evening, we had to go to a walk-in urgent care clinic. Bella seemed thrilled with all the excitement, chatting up the nurses, laughing and singing. And then the doctor came in...suddenly she's screaming and throwing herself on the floor and trying to hit both the doctor and I. After much struggle the doctor thankfully confirmed what I had suspected - that there were no more beads up her nose.

On the way home, I talked to her about why we don't shove things up our noses. She seemed to understand, although I have to constantly remind myself that I'm trying to have a logical conversation with someone who hasn't even turned two yet.

We get home and I make them both a quick dinner and - wouldn't you know it? A few minutes into dinner, I look up and catch her with a big, smug grin on her face, trying to shove a frozen pea up her nose . I think I better have the doctor's number on speed dial from now on...